Commercial driveway alarms come in two flavors: PIR motion and magnetometric. Both are far from perfect; PIR alarms trigger on any warm-blooded animal, which means dog, cats, and deer cause false alarms, while magnetometers only pick up vehicles, meaning bipedal intruders can walk up with impunity. I propose a vision-based driveway monitor using one of the new crop of Edge computing platforms to watch video streaming from a camera and triggering an alarm only when something of interest happens.