OK, I think I'm in big trouble. First let's look at some numbers. I do fart a lot in my car. At the time I'm writing this I own my car for 70 days and farted 219 times over a distance of 3067km.

That's 1 fart every 14km, 3.13 farts a day! I do fart at an average speed of 39km/h and the maximum farting speed is 104km/h. That's good for me because the speed limit here is 100km/h.

The problem is the heading: the average fart heading is 180.86 degrees. So in average I fart turning my back to the north pole: that could be the cause of polar ice caps melting faster. But worse than that: I fart turning my back to Santa Clauss... and I'm uploading those farts to the cloud... and he is flying in the sky on Christmas eve... I'm in big big big trouble!

OK given the "cloud" is a metaphor, so do Santa flying is a metaphor too. Do those metaphor cancel each other and then Santa is going to really get my farts in the face on Christmas eve? Internet please help me on this!

I do fart a lot close to my home, kid's school and daycare. Don't know what it means...

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