A full size shark presents a storage problem, being up to 6 metres and 2 tonnes. My bath is less than 2 meters long, and I need it for washing myself in. My loved ones will go chimpy no matter how reasonable my explanation is. I live in a small flat, not a hollowed-out volcano with plenty of space.

All the sources available to me supply fish dead and filleted. I said "I want a whole live shark, and make it snappy!". All I got was funny looks. They said "We're gonna need a bigger fish van..."

So I looked for a scaled-down shark. The first alternative I found had forward-facing eyes which is good in a predator. $30 Canadian dollars from https://snugasabug.com/shark-puppet/ but will take time to get to the UK.

The second alternative was available locally, https://www.hobbycraft.co.uk/fiesta-crafts-shark-hand-puppet/6393911000.html, so I bought one.

My neighbour's cat, Gimli, didn't find this menacing at all.

Disappointing, but it is only a prototype.