Wait, what?

Nice one Bea. I sat her down a couple times over the last few days and tried hard to get her attention on the implications of what I'm doing on her behalf, what it will mean to her.

Like I said, its not determination or judgement she lacks, its an inability to communicate it back - if she will pay it any attention. She just shrugs at a lot of stuff, her way of saying its not important, or she's happy with the current paradigm. She usually is, I'd know about it if she wasnt, speaking from experience.

I tried to make her understand there would be changes because of what I was telling her, and asked her about the two options the social worker has given.

Lol, that was almost expected, she does not want to know about living somewhere else. Well he can strike that one off the list straight away then. I explained it would be a home like this home, and I'd come and see her there. Nope, that was too much, she wont go for that. Oh well then, but not a loss.

I also suggested someone coming here to help her, instead of Daddy. I didnt get much of a response to that to begin with either. She shrugged... Well thats a start then. A bit later I tried again, and she said 'sleep'.

Puzzling. That either means - in context - "I'm tired, time for bed" or "At bedtime", or "Respite", which she understands as sleeping there a few nights before coming home. Yes I told her, someone else might get her ready for bed instead of me. 'Sleep' she persisted. Later still I asked her again, and got the same, sleep. "What, you want them to live here and look after you?"... 'Sleep'

And then it dawned on me she was asking for me to find someone for us, not her. Bless her... She understands that the few girls who have been any use at all have been those that slept over, and a few of those would snuggle her duvet up against the bedbugs and the howling wind and wish her sleep tight until morning, brush stray hair off her forehead and kiss it goodnight. Like her father does...

Lord, a woman? I have grave reservations about that, in more than one sense. I'm not about to open myself up to that again. Nobody comes THAT close to losing a tentacle and ever forgets it, I need treatment to get around the emotional damage before I'll ever be comfortable again.

I can tell you another thing ladies, years of being told to 'piss off, nerd/freak/loser' really doesnt do much to help your case. This is going to be expensive and no mistake.

OK so Mr Social Worker, you really want a challenge? Find me a wife. That's what the little mare wants. And I wont find one on HackaDay or round my home town, obviously. They're not exactly knocking on my door. Nor will I find one living in this shithole, speaking of my door. Even paid leaflet droppers cant be bother to scale the steps, never mind for the love of it.

Oh he's going to enjoy this, or I will... I better phone him and break him the bad news.